I mentioned that looking back for a long ago post for a project, it was sort of surprising how different my writing was. Back then I was casual, full of zest, and didn't care quite so much how it came across. In talking about it, I remembered that I USED to pretend to be writing to a good friend. Someone who would enjoy whatever tidbits or news were written, because we're friends. It makes it so much easier than worrying about a few hundred people who might consider me a dweeb. AND by this time, most of you do know me (and Molly... and Maryanne), and the sense of humor around here. We do goofy stuff sometimes, and we have fun. Sometimes we make mistakes, and hopefully that keeps you from having to do it too.
For instance, last night I decided to gather some pine pollen to experiment with after noticing the tree in the side yard was loaded. While shaking the pollen into a bag, it suddenly became apparent that I must have a bit of an allergy. So I'm letting you know. Be careful the first time.
|The yellow powder was all over my hands, clothing, face, hair, and the only thing to do was jump in the shower.|
I've been wondering why it was so hard to write lately. Writing is kind of my jam. As a teen, when angst, heartbreak, and awesome new things were every day experiences, I could pour out page after page of feelings, thereby saving anyone from having to deal with *that*. Eventually it became a pressure release valve, for when things - good or bad - became too large to contain. Bam! A few pages, and things started to fall into place and make sense again. I have written an entire book since my daughter was born, filled with how it felt to feel trapped by a sick little person, the worry of watching her play on the floor while waiting for a biopsy report, how it felt when she graduated, and a million other things. I still haven't been able to write the part about her moving across the country...
For people who write a lot, it can be hard to express ourselves verbally in the moment. Molly started writing me notes as soon as she learned to write, and I totally got it. It's so much easier to sit down, take a few deep breaths, and get it out. The ability to finish a thought, stay on topic, and erase, refine, and rephrase is so comforting. It has usually been important in my romantic relationships. The more intense the relationship, the more frightening it can be to try to explain something. I have learned though, that it is very important to be with someone who reads. Heh.
So I'm going to try to get back to it. I'm not going to compete with the blogs that are run by people who do it for a living, spending days doing set-up and photography. It's going to be fun again. Hopefully. I'm not going to attempt to compete with anyone except myself. Heck with that!
Oh, and I'm going to use "Nudge, nudge, wink, wink," for the subject in the email.
See ya later, buddy!