Wednesday, November 24, 2010

If for just one day, be thankful.

There are many ways to look at Thanksgiving. At this point in my life, most holidays have become a time to reflect.
Most of them lead me to count my blessings. Oh, there are always big, giant problems in every life. There are things that we would give anything to fix if we could. If we look carefully though, even those have some beauty and grace. Sometimes you have to squint and maybe look sideways, but they are always there.I'm still barely able to believe that my brother is really gone after years of suffering, hanging on, hoping for a transplant. But he is. He is no longer suffering. Our lives here on the hill are no longer completely absorbed by the tenuous balance of sodium, water, lactulose, medications, and proteins that ruled our days. No more midnight dashes to the ER. I am thankful that his pain is over - as (for the most part) is ours.
There's such a bittersweet thrill in watching my daughter grow into an independent young woman with dreams that will likely lead her away from me. That was my job, and it appears that I did it pretty well. I am thankful to have been able to (as my sister always says) give her roots and wings, all the while holding back my inclination to cling to her.
I am thankful for the whimsical notes that customers write on their orders, letting me know that they love the magazine and feel friendship in the pages. They do not know how very appreciated those comments are to me.
I am grateful for the friends and family who have watched me row through rough waters in the past 6 months, but withheld their judgment, even though the situation is difficult for them to comprehend. Knowing that they respect my choices and decisions makes me thankful for their acceptance and love.
The act of walking outside, breathing in the air and knowing the plants around me changes everything. It is the most healing thing on earth, and it is completely free and easily accessible. For that, I am eternally thankful.
I could easily list a hundred things to be thankful for - simple things like clean water, pumpkin pie, a car that starts at the turn of a key, a home amidst family, but those things are too easy.
The hidden blessings, the ones that require looking behind, beneath, through, between - those are the sweetest because they are the hardest to find.
I am thankful nearly every day - still working on those odd days.

11 comments:

Dried Herbs Co. said...

Wow. That's a similar story to that of my mothers.
Her father became ill and after the death of his wife, he had nobody.
My mother ended up moving in with him and becoming his full-time carer.

She too also lives up a mountain and started growing herbs, organically, a few years ago. When my grandad finally passed (again, after years of hanging on), the herbs totally took over and my mother then spent 12 hours a day in the greenhouse and outside looking after her herbs.

Ben @ the Dried Herb Co.

Comfrey Cottages said...

big hugs being sent your way Tina xx Was thinking earlier how this is your first Thanksgiving without your brother...

Tina Sams said...

thanks. He's always in our thoughts. I must say, the meal is much better with a little salt!! lol. We've been getting back into our groove though, and the two books that got published this year could never have been accomplished before. I hope your day was full of your grandchildren :-)

Tina Sams said...

Ben, are you the second generation? Do you work with your mom? The herbs were so healing for me. Your mom's life sounds pretty rewarding, and I'm glad the herbs were there for her when she had the time to return to them.

Comfrey Cottages said...

:) Tina, I understand. Your books are on my Christmas wish list, along with a new subscription and the soap book and video! Very proud of how much you have done this year xx ( Money was too tight for any extras with the two courses I took for me to get in on everything you offered this year. Was tough on me listening to everyone else rave about them!! lol The price I pay for staying home with the grands though:) )

Tina Sams said...

Being there for those kidlets is so important, Leslie! My mom was the only person who took care of Molly, and there is no way to express my gratitude for that peace of mind - and the special relationship they shared. Kids grow up, but the herbs will be there.
It looks like you're enjoying Heather's class. I'm kinda jealous :-)

Comfrey Cottages said...

Aww that is such a lovely memory you have of having no worries on Molly's care because of your mom:) Yes, to me, it is the very most important thing right now. I just had to spring for the class Tina. I get so spread thin trying to squeeze in the learning on my own. So easy to get drawn here and there and actually not have a step by step foundational and layering way of learning. I am just one of those sorts that have to learn from the basics:) herbal hugs to youxx

Laura said...

This was gorgeous! I always love visiting your blog, because it's like I'm really there on the hill with you.

I love you so much and am so very thankful for your friendship and sisterhood.

Laura

Melissa Nicole Sidelinger said...

This was an absolutely beautiful article, friend. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

Granny Sue said...

We lost a son this year, and being thankful is a little difficult--he was not ill or in pain, so for that I should be thankful, I suppose. Blessings on you, and a prayer for your brother who has peace at last.

I do enjoy your blog. It's such a refreshing read.

Tina Sams said...

ah... I'm so sorry. One thing I've learned over the past several years is that the circumstances make very little difference when we are missing someone. Hugs to you, Sue.

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